Of all the housemates this year, it was the controversial comedian Jim Davidson whom the public found the most adorable. So is he a changed man?
*Name:* Jim Davidson
*Age:* 60
*Appearance:* Ruddy, tubby, encased in tweed. The sort of person who hangs out in village pubs waiting to tell strangers what he thinks about things.
*Really? Jim Davidson is still around?* More than that. He has just won this year's Celebrity Big Brother.
*Really? Celebrity Big Brother is still around?* It is, but it has been on Channel 5 for a while now so, unless you're really into documentaries about trucks and Nazis, you might have missed it.
*Hang on. Jim Davidson won something? In 2014? And it wasn't a Figure From The Past Who We're Retrospectively Ashamed Of Making Famous competition?* Correct. Of all the Celebrity Big Brother housemates this year, it was Jim Davidson whom the public found the most adorable.
*The Jim Davidson who did unflattering impersonations of West Indians in the 1970s? The Jim Davidson who was asked to leave Hell's Kitchen in 2007 for calling Brian Dowling a "shirtlifter"? The Jim Davidson alleged to have repeatedly beaten his ex-wife Alison Holloway?* That's him. He also presented Big Break, though, which was fun if you liked snooker and thought novelty waistcoasts were hilarious.
*Yikes. If he was the best of the bunch, who was he up against?* Well, there were tabloid bad boys Lee Ryan from Blue and Dappy from N-Dubz.
*I see.* And Liz Jones. And the shrill one from the last series of The Apprentice. And Lionel Blair, who is probably quite objectionable if you hate tapdancing and/or mime.
*This is all starting to make sense. Still, Jim Davidson won?* To be fair, age does appear to have softened him a little. At one point, for instance, he told bisexual housemate Ollie Locke that "I just want you to be happy".
*Fine, he's a changed man. So what's next?* For Jim? At a guess, probably a Channel 5 reality show that runs for two years until he says something awful about gay people again.
*And for Celebrity Big Brother?* Four words: Nigel Farage next year.
*Last question: are we all doomed?* Yes.
*Do say:* "Everyone deserves a second chance."
*Don't say:* "But, Jim, isn't this, like, your millionth chance?" Reported by guardian.co.uk 19 hours ago.
*Name:* Jim Davidson
*Age:* 60
*Appearance:* Ruddy, tubby, encased in tweed. The sort of person who hangs out in village pubs waiting to tell strangers what he thinks about things.
*Really? Jim Davidson is still around?* More than that. He has just won this year's Celebrity Big Brother.
*Really? Celebrity Big Brother is still around?* It is, but it has been on Channel 5 for a while now so, unless you're really into documentaries about trucks and Nazis, you might have missed it.
*Hang on. Jim Davidson won something? In 2014? And it wasn't a Figure From The Past Who We're Retrospectively Ashamed Of Making Famous competition?* Correct. Of all the Celebrity Big Brother housemates this year, it was Jim Davidson whom the public found the most adorable.
*The Jim Davidson who did unflattering impersonations of West Indians in the 1970s? The Jim Davidson who was asked to leave Hell's Kitchen in 2007 for calling Brian Dowling a "shirtlifter"? The Jim Davidson alleged to have repeatedly beaten his ex-wife Alison Holloway?* That's him. He also presented Big Break, though, which was fun if you liked snooker and thought novelty waistcoasts were hilarious.
*Yikes. If he was the best of the bunch, who was he up against?* Well, there were tabloid bad boys Lee Ryan from Blue and Dappy from N-Dubz.
*I see.* And Liz Jones. And the shrill one from the last series of The Apprentice. And Lionel Blair, who is probably quite objectionable if you hate tapdancing and/or mime.
*This is all starting to make sense. Still, Jim Davidson won?* To be fair, age does appear to have softened him a little. At one point, for instance, he told bisexual housemate Ollie Locke that "I just want you to be happy".
*Fine, he's a changed man. So what's next?* For Jim? At a guess, probably a Channel 5 reality show that runs for two years until he says something awful about gay people again.
*And for Celebrity Big Brother?* Four words: Nigel Farage next year.
*Last question: are we all doomed?* Yes.
*Do say:* "Everyone deserves a second chance."
*Don't say:* "But, Jim, isn't this, like, your millionth chance?" Reported by guardian.co.uk 19 hours ago.